I’m in my studio deep in thought, watching the birds outside my window ravaging my cherry tree like it’s purpose of bearing fruit was for them. Now I understand why one day I look out and see delicious cherries growing on the tree and the next day they’re gone. Even though I wish there were some cherries left for me I do love to see the workings of mother nature.

Mother nature did a number on me yesterday and helped keep me in bed feeling lazy. I can’t blame her completely, I wanted it, I really did and I could take it because my girls were at Jill’s house so I had all morning for me. I started reading Eat Love Pray by Elizabeth Gilbert, thanks to my friend Amy who suggested it and lent me her book. I’m enjoying it so much the hours in the morning got a way from me and before I knew it, it was lunch time. I’m a bit mad at myself for deciding years ago that this book was not for me. I’m not sure what I was thinking, I suppose I listened to the wrong reviews, but I was never interested in this woman and her stories from her travels around the world. Perhaps I wasn’t ready years ago, but I’m ready now.

Her words speak to me and NOT because I want to change my life the way she did or run out and find answers in other lands, but because she figured out what she wanted and didn’t let anything stand in her way to get it. (Please don’t get me wrong when I say that, I don’t agree with all she did, leaving her “good life”, being so self destructive, and having it be all about her. I don’t think you ever truly find happiness by being selfish. With that said, I can’t judge her for the decisions she made and the place she was in when she made them. So when I said, she figured out what she wanted and didn’t let anything get in her way I’m referring to when she made the list of things she wanted and moved on from there.)

Anyway, I’ve been thinking about that lately, what I want. And not in the grand scheme of things, I know that, but in the small day to day activities/experiences that will help me become the woman I want to be and take me where I want to go. For instance, reading more biographies, volunteering at my girls school, going to the temple several times a month, learning Spanish, going back to school and learning design, taking a lighthouse tour on the east coast, etc.. For a long time I wasn’t sure exactly what I wanted, but now I have a clearer understanding. So I know the what, it’s the how that seems to almost be the bigger question and a very easy road block to put the blame on because if I know one thing, it’s knowing doesn’t make it any easier.

When we know, why do we hold back? I think because changing is uncomfortable. It’s safer where we are and frankly we know what to expect. It takes a lot to evaluate your life and have the courage to take a leap of faith and do what almost doesn’t feel natural. It’s always worth it though. Whenever I find myself on the far side (operative word) of change, I’m always grateful I made the difficult choice and pushed through to the other side because the blessings are far greater than if I had stayed (so easy to say when you are not going through it).

After all, we are meant to change, we are meant to move.

**Have you made a list of things you want?
**Have you made a bucket list? (i still need to sit down and do this)

Now for a harder question…what’s for lunch?

Enjoy your weekend.
xoxo

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