Though music hasn’t always been a huge part of my life, I have always known that what attracts me to a song is as much the melody as it is the words. If I like the message/words most likely it becomes one of the most played songs in my playlist. To me words hold with it so much power, which is why it’s so devastating that my words fail me too often. I have always wanted to write music, and though I know that will never happen perhaps I can just enjoy the emotions and thoughts other talented songwriters can share with me.

A couple years ago I heard a song called A Ghost by Onelinedrawing. It was an eerie song that to tell you the truth I wasn’t too keen on because it’s about a man who wants to die. It wasn’t until I really listened to the whole song that I realized how simply powerful it was. Yes, it’s about a man who asks to die because he sick of this life, but once gone he realizes how wrong he was…

This is not the end
There are never enough days
I scream and I shake and I
sound like the wind
and I miss the pain of our
blood and our skin
Rubies and pearls, our blood
and our skin
Our blood and our skin are
worth everything.

Hey St Joe, I was wrong
About the sea and the sun and my boy
Let me bleed, let me long
The taste of skin is joy

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When I really heard it I started to cry. I’m not sure why except the words truly touched me at how precious this life is and how wasteful I had been focusing on silly things that have no meaning or that I have absolutely no control over. I battle trying to keep that in perspective knowing that life is such a beautiful gift. The joys. The sorrows. The good times and bad all make us who we are.

So as I search and ponder what I can do to make life the gift it is I found “they” in my path. I have this problem, and I assume I’m not the only one, that cares and focuses on what “they” think rather than our family, ourselves, and even what our God thinks of us. It’s a powerful realization to me, the concept of what they think, and one I have struggled with for years trying to lose and something I also feel is tied to my self confidence. I am so confused as to why “they”, who actually has little to no meaning to me, has such an effect on my life. Why do they become the focus and those whose opinions actually mean something to me in the end mean very little? Does anyone have an answer? Though, I find myself without the answer I haven’t let that stop me in searching for that place where “they’s” voice doesn’t exist.

Each day I feel I am making more progress letting what is most important in and giving “they” the cold shoulder, which is not to be confused with not caring. To be completely honest I’m not sure I would’ve believed letting “they” go could make that big of a difference, but I have surprised myself with how doors are opening and how I’m progressing in a much more meaningful way. I have a long way to go and many battles to fight, but how awesome it is that I can finally see where I’m going. All because I am choosing to let “they” go.

I know I am posting late in the day, but couldn’t end without wishing my friend Crystalyn a Happy Birthday! She is an amazing woman who has opened up herself to me and given me a friendship I’ve long been searching for.