I’ve been anticipating this day since the beginning of summer, well, in reality if I’m being honest with myself, this day has come and gone in my subconscious for about 5 years now. I think the first few times I was home crazy busy with three little kidlets I wondered what it would be like with them all in school. My thoughts have been all over the board, one way I’m full of apprehension and the other excitement.
I admit I thought it would feel differently walking away from the elementary alone, kidless for the next 6 hours. I thought I would feel free or sad or a little of both. What I found was walking away from the school alone was the most natural thing in the world, and I guess that’s exactly what it is…natural. Each year since Bella was 3 and started pre-school our schedule has changed and the amount of time they’ve left me for has increased with each one. Where I am today has definitely been a natural progression, we should be here, and so it just feels right.
Perhaps it’s not quite hitting me yet, the fact that this is my new reality. That my days will be open to my schedule and not theirs. It’s a weird concept after having someone underfoot for over 10 years to no longer have a shadow. I’m sure in a week or so when all the excitement has died down that being alone all day will hit me and then maybe I’ll feel the full weight of our new life. I know one thing for sure…I have a lot of plans for myself, projects to keep me busy, activities to keep me moving in the right direction. I definitely want these six hours to count and be meaningful.
For now though, I am grateful to feel like everything is aligned and everything is as it should be.
xoxo,
amy
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