Lately I feel like I just can’t keep up with life. I keep telling myself when such and such is over I will be able to breathe and the next thing I know there is something looming on the horizon waiting to fill me up again.

For instance here is a glimpse of my week starting with the weekend.

Weekend


Easter and Easter festivities that I was getting ready for. Oh and Bella had Federation Saturday afternoon (it’s a violin thing).

Monday

Bella’s Birthday, making a cake last minute (can’t believe I had looked over the cake), party with her friends (ended up doing it all by myself when my help backed out…very frustrating), dinner and movie that night.

Tuesday


food prep for the dinner…just the prep

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YW etiquette dinner, which shouldn’t have been a big deal, but making a dinner for that many people always ends up being a big deal. I spend my entire day working on it from decorating/setting up to making the food to putting it all together for the enjoyment of the youth. While leaving after cleaning up I had a glimmer of hope, thinking how nice it is this dinner is behind me when the President said we have to talk about next Tuesday since we haven’t even thought about it. Sigh. The non stop YW is killing me…in a good way. I mean I love the girls and serving them, but it’s a lot of work.

Yesterday, I also had a meeting crammed in, where everyone was late and screwed up the rest of my well thought out schedule to fit everything in, to discuss a lesson I’m suppose to be doing Sunday for the Relief Society/YW combined. This meeting should have happened weeks ago, but now I know it wouldn’t have made a difference. Stuff we had agreed upon two weeks ago was totally change yesterday and now I’m scrambling to write my portion of the lesson.

coming up
I have Bella’s Baptism Saturday that I’m still getting ready for. I was going to do invitations, but with all I’ve had going on it was the first thing to drop. I feel bad about it, but at some point something has to give. I’m working on the programs now and figuring out if I’ve missed something or forgot to invite someone. Of course that doesn’t include the lunch/dinner I’m going to have for my family afterward so I still have lots to plan.

Ok, so I know this post has an air of complaint around it and I truly do not mean it that way. I know all this stuff is doable, very doable, and if I just stopped talking and start doing it would be done and no stress (this is not hard stuff). I guess my whole point is this, I know life doesn’t get less busy, I get that, and as much as I want it to I know I’ve come to a point in my life where it’s not going to slow down. So why in the world can’t I just go with the flow, take the changes as they come and not stress about the piles that I see heaping on me? I’m not running my life, life is running me and I hate that. I want to wake up everyday and enjoy what I’m doing no matter what it is on my plate. I want to enjoy the process and right now I’m not.

I write lists. I try to do what I can to alleviate pressure from weeks like this that end up crazy, but when I’m in the middle of them I get overwhelmed, which always gets me down that I’ve not only made my life difficult, but my families as well.

So I’ve been wondering how much of this is pure personality. I’ve seen my mom react this way (this stress is in my blood) so I truly wonder if it’s something I can change or if I’m forced to deal with this feeling my whole life? Hmm. Whether change is or is not possible it doesn’t matter…I am not willing to go through life frustrated/overwhelmed because I can’t keep up. I’ve got to figure something out. I believe it’s possible.

Tell me I’m not alone. What do you to alleviate the pressure of the everyday? Do you think it’s possible to change something that is so apart of you?