So I’ve really been thinking about taking protecting my family to a new level. With increasingly horrific stories on the news I can’t help, but wonder what more I could be doing.

I’ve mentioned this before on my blog, but of all the professionals Adam and I have spoken to over the years the one thing that will deter someone is a dog. So I’ve thought quite seriously about this the last couple of weeks. Adam, not really trying to say anything to convince me, wants this to be completely my decision since I was the one to bring it up in the first place. We started doing research in what kind of dog we wanted and we kept going back to English Bulldog, the type we had had years ago.

I struggle because really I don’t want a dog. I am not a dog person. I don’t want to take care of a dog. I don’t want to smell the dog etc. etc. The list could go on and on. Despite how I feel I want to protect my family so I am fighting my desire to say, “Am I kidding? I don’t want this!” when really I do or I should.

So last night we hoped into the car as a family to go meet a bulldog breeder 2 hours north of our house. I’m not sure what we were thinking at the time. It was crazy traffic and the girls still were not feeling their best. An hour into it Megan and Bella were crying because they just couldn’t take it anymore. We stopped for a bit thinking we would just head back the hour we came, but after eating for a while we decided to push on since the girls were up for it. We had one more hour to go which seemed to go pretty good except Megan ended up throwing up, good thing we were prepared. By the time we got there we had been on the road for 4 hours. We laughed considering how far we could have gone in that amount of time.

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Finally we made it to see the 3 puppies that were waiting for us. They were adorable and you know how puppies catch your eye, how lovable they are. Then the owner brought out the father. Fear ran through my body when I first laid eyes on him and I thought he would definitely keep someone away. He was big, much bigger than I remember Otto (our first bulldog) being. He came toward us and I wanted to run, it seemed I was not the only one as our girls squealed in terror and ran away. It was a funny site, but I completely understood…I was scared. Harley was his name. He came to me looking like he was going to jump up so I held him back. He was so thick I could barely move him. He was excited, but gentle. I could see how he could be a good family dog, but keep people away at the same time just by sheer presence. It was then, however, that I realized these puppies would grow up and almost certainly be big like their father. Am I really ready for this?

We talked for a while and then we put down money with the understanding that we would pick him up in a few weeks when our home was ready for him. I must admit I felt totally stressed all the way home. I just really don’t want a dog. I am really really torn. I know we don’t have to do it, but I also know I want to be safe and I know no other way.

So right now we are getting a puppy or at least we’ve bought one. I could change my mind at any moment, you know how bad I am at decisions. He is cute though, really cute and with Adam’s promise to do his part it just may work. Who knows. I’ll keep you posted.