place to rest

I sat down to write on my blog after a full day and felt completely haunted by the memories, the moments I’ve failed to get out of my head and given a place to rest.

I guess you could say its regret I’m feeling. I’m so disappointment this year has passed by unnamed, semi-lost. I look through months and months of images just sitting on my computer and I don’t know how to get back the authenticity of those days that have long since passed.

Twenty Twelve — where did it go?

You know I never did pick a word to focus on this year. I didn’t mean for it to happen, but weeks turned into months and soon enough my year was underway and no word. It’s weird, choosing a word has been, for several years now, something that has helped me focus, redirect when my days start to melt together. I guess sometimes you learn the hard way how significant something like choosing a word for the year can be.

Twenty twelve not only raced by, it’s been such a big year for me — so many things happened. Dreams came true for starters. Teaching at Squam Art Workshops seemed so untouchable, it was exactly what I wanted for this year, and yet I didn’t realize it was everything I needed. I went with the desire to shared what I love and what I received was way more than I could’ve ever thought possible. The experience taught me about confidence (still working on this one), and how to be secure with who I am. It taught me how much I have to offer and how much I want to give.

Twenty twelve also brought with it amazing dear woman. Friendships were formed that I never saw coming, that I never knew I needed. Now that these woman are in my life I can’t imagine how I didn’t know they were missing. Life is fuller now. Thanks goodness for technology that keeps most of us connected.

Twenty twelve gave me the opportunity to appreciate patience. Is that an oxymoron? Can I actually appreciate something that is hard for me or that I don’t do well? I struggle with being patient, I’ve always struggled with waiting, but this year has taught me an invaluable lesson to trust, that while I wait, I am experiencing what will take me to where I need to go — It’s not only needed, it’s necessary for growth.

I could go on and I should just to get my thoughts out, but I’m getting ahead of myself. Twenty Twelve is not even over yet and here I am writing about it as if it’s gone. This post has been good for me though, it reminds me how much I miss the combination of words + photos (as ali edwards would say), how I can’t go so long without putting my thoughts down (they’ll be forgotten), and how my blog has a place and so does my journal, in documenting life.

Have a fabulous weekend. xo