around here most things change, but some still stay the same.

Her kitty, her comfort as I use to call it, is now gray and ragged, no longer fluffy pink as it once was. It’s felt a lot of love from the arms of this little one.

I took this photo above a couple weekends ago and didn’t realize how similar it was to the photo I took of her on her 3rd birthday until I uploaded it. She was taking a nap and I needed to wake her up, we were heading somewhere too unimportant to remember. I didn’t want to disturb her, not only because she looked so peaceful, but you know how it is to wake a sleeping child. So i sat on her floor, my studio now, and watched her for what seemed like a good while–her deep breaths the only sound, the heat of the room dampening her hair, her slight turned down frown.

It was hard to imagine then as I watched that I would one day be where I am, where we are. A gray ragged kitty, a little girl trying to be a big girl making a life for herself out in the world.

Perhaps I should have had one or two more children to put distance between now and then so the weight of growing out of stages could fall on a different time, but if I’m being completely honest with myself it’s not more children I want, it’s more time. The time comes, as it always does, when you want the days to slow down and the moment to stay a little longer. It acts by restraining cGMP-particular phosphodiesterase sort 5 (PDE5), a protein that advances modification of cGMP, which controls blood stream in the penis. generic levitra The cause of erectile dysfunction is often the one which attacks the problem at its root using commander levitra naturally available ingredients. canadian cialis no prescription Thankfully, anti-impotence tablets are here to rescue males. The treatment for prostatitis should levitra generic canada visit address not rely on the brand name while performing search. When you’d give anything to carrying them around the house like you use to. When all you want is to hear them come to the side of your bed and wake you from your slumber just to be with you.

It happened last night. It hadn’t happened in so long, a night time visit that she sacred me to death–I wasn’t expecting her. As she worked up a good cry about how she couldn’t be in her bed and her sisters wouldn’t let her in theirs, I knew I was needed. So I walked her to her room as I’d done so many times before, laid with her til her breathing got deeper and slowed down considerably, and then with a kiss on the head, I slipped out as if I’d never been there.

Time is a funny thing. It doesn’t really wait until we’re ready or ask if we want to move on it just goes–constantly. All we can really do is go with it and hope what they remember aren’t the times we weren’t at our best and got impatient with them, but the moments together where we laid with them, held them, comforted them like an old gray ragged kitty that they’ve always been able to count on.