I found myself today in much the same situation as yesterday, but today the bulk of things I needed to accomplish were creative (lucky me). Making cards for a neighbor, working on photos from a photo shoot, making a book, and giving myself time for my art journal.

So I found myself in my studio most of the afternoon and instead of listening to silence, like yesterday while working in my pantry, I started listening to Stop Whining, Start Living by Dr. Laura. I admit I am a whiner and it’s something I’ve been trying for a long time to stop. I hate that by nature I am more of a negative person, but I know that’s absolutely no excuse to whine. I have the ability to change I just don’t always have the will to keep it going for longer than 2 weeks, so I thought this book would help me or at least give me more strength to keep a positive attitude for more than a short period of time.

I’m 4 chapters into it and what I’ve discovered is that my blog may be fueling the very thing I need to shy away from….complaining. In the past I’ve noticed that the only times I wrote in my journal were when I was upset, so I have journals that need to be destroyed less someome think my life was all about that, but then again I think it was. To quote Fallout Boy “Misery loves me”. For example, what consequence did the erectile difficulty have viagra uk no prescription on the man and his spouse? What were his emotional and behavioral reactions to his erectile difficulties? What was the time that you have spends in your young age days. Due to their discomfort and uneasiness, it makes the treatment economical and possible for those who cannot price of viagra tablet afford expensive medicine. There are a number of impotence drugs in the stores these days that could complicate your seek for the wonder pill. tadalafil india And yet, do check with the veterinarian order generic viagra http://davidfraymusic.com/project/read-davids-interview-with-neue-oz/ about which vitamins and supplements are good for your pet and how to give them. I use to think that was the case, but now I realize I’ve given misery a home and allowed it to stay. It’s much easier to hold onto sadness than to open up for happiness because there will always come a time in every life when that happiness will be tested so why go there in the first place? Right? Or so was my thinking.

I know happiness is a choice in life and I’ve chosen happiness, but I’m so sick of hearing myself complain about the big and little things in my life instead of enjoy the journey each step of the way. I know a few days ago I said that venting and putting it out there actually helps me to find meaning in it and helps me move on (and it did and it does), but when it becomes a constant I have failed to see the bigger picture and am whining because that’s what I do. I need to get away from finding things to complain about.

Dr. Laura said, “whining about my problem is self serving”.

So do you ever wonder if blogging has turned you into something you didn’t want to be or as not to blame blogging, but the act of trying to better yourself, find yourself has actually turned you into something you don’t like? I came to a realization this weekend that my constant pouring over myself in a way to better who I am has actually made me even more selfish than before and if I just stopped focusing on myself and put that energy into someone else I would actually find the real me.

I’m not sure where I heard it, but loved it instantly, “The person you want to be does exists somewhere on the other side of hard work and faith and belief.”

I guess what I’m trying to say is I want to be a better person and I finally understand that I won’t get where I want to by looking in the mirror, but by stepping away from me. So what does this mean for my blog. Well, hopefully you won’t hear me complain for the sake of complaining and if you do that it will be few and far between (I know whining can be helpful, but not when one dwells and I tend to be a dweller). I have to let go, live, and focus on the good and I believe giving whining it’s place will help tremendously.


becuase I wanted to leave you with something visual…

thanks for letting my mind wander.