This is not a new concept for me. I think about this often as I struggle with it’s meaning. After reading this to my girls while dinner was cooking tonight, “It didn’t matter how mean her stepmother and stepsisters were to her, Cinderella was always happy”, I was reminded once again of what it means to live the life I have been given to the fullest.

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I think for a while my life motto was “when” and “if” statements. I can recall so many instances in my life where I said, “I would be happy if….”, and each time my statement would come to past, I would still be in the same place just adding a different thing to the end of that statement. I’ve often thought what my life would be like if I lived someone else’s life. Would I be happier? After much thought and discussion I realize we all have our problems and struggles. If it’s not A than it would be Z. We can’t out run those things that haunt us. They come back continually throughout our life even if we try desperately to deny them (I’m so good at that).

I remember talking to Adam one night where I said, “Can you imagine if we got to the judgment bar and the Lord showed us a video of what our life could have been.” He looked at me strangely and said, “What do you think Hell is?” Truly that would be my hell. Never ending regret and a clear knowledge of what my life could have been if I had only done XYZ. I know I have been blessed with so much. My life should be full of happiness and yet I find too often I’m down. I’m struggling. I know we all go through hard times, but when I go deep inside and really look at what’s going on or why this would be, I realize I’m not living my life. I’m letting it pass me by instead of anxiously engaging in this precious gift.

I believe so strongly that we need to live our life now. We need to stop waiting for the perfect car, or the perfect house, or the better kids, or the more friends, or a vacation, or money, or whatever it might be that holds us back.


This is what this year has been about for me. Doing. Living. Embracing what I have been given and making the most of it. I’m tired of feeling like I need something to be happy. I’m tired of waiting for that one thing to make all my problems go away because deep down I know it’s not coming. I’m tired of waiting as it says in the song by Colin Hay, “for my real life to begin”. That’s just it. This is my real life. I don’t get another chance. Instead of wishing and hoping I need to take what I have and make something out of it. This is my life. The only one I’m going to get. It’s up to me and the only person I have to blame for what I lack is me.

The fact that I have been given the opportunity of life should be all that I need. The problem lies in the “it doesn’t come easily”. I use to think that everyone was happy and then there were bad days. Now I’m so aware that happiness is something we work for each day. It is a choice. I wake up everyday, some days more noticeably than others, and decide if I’m going to run my life or stand idly by and wonder why I’m not happy with the way it’s going. Taking charge and making our life exactly what we dream of, though hard a lot of the time, is so worth it. In the end we would never regret spending our life in the pursuit of happiness. We need to give to get.

I really hope this year I will be one step closer to letting go of my insecurities. Letting go of those apparent “needs” in my life that inevitably hold me back from living…from being truly happy. I want to live my life to the fullest. I want to be happy with what I have NOW, not what I might have or think I should have. As I’ve already found out…happiness is not given and most times hard, but I’ve tasted it’s sweetness and never want to go back.